Download Cutting Loose: An Adult Guide to Coming to Terms with your Parents, by Howard M Halpern
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Cutting Loose: An Adult Guide to Coming to Terms with your Parents, by Howard M Halpern
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With more than 35 years of experience in psychotherapy, Dr. Halpern enables the adult child to understand his or her parent and foster a positive, healthy adult relationship.
- Sales Rank: #2035129 in Books
- Published on: 1982-01
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Mass Market Paperback
- Coming of age
- parents
- Behavior Change
- Ties That Bind
- Maturity
Most helpful customer reviews
143 of 146 people found the following review helpful.
Changed my Life
By A Customer
I have NEVER been a person who believed that a self-help book could change your life. But this one changed mine! I read this book years ago (I am buying it now for a friend). I was in my 30's and I was still intimidated by my mother's manipulation. This book made me slap my forehead and say to myself "why on earth have I put up with this for so long???!! If ever a book liberated me, this book did. It showed me that it takes two to tango. If I didn't like the way my mother acted, there wasn't much I could do to change her behavior. However, I COULD change the way I responded - I could refuse to "dance the dance." For any adult who feels intimated or bullied by a parent, this is the book to read. Highly recommended!
118 of 120 people found the following review helpful.
A grateful reader
By Love2Read
This book helped me get a clearer understanding about my chronically unhappy parents' controlling, manipulative behavior. This book helped me devise some good management strategies for dealing with my parents and facing up to my inaccurate belief, learned from my parents and then cultivated by me, that maybe I was really was the cause of their misery and thus kind of owed them whatever they wanted out of me, no matter how costly to me. Bottom line: Give up all expectation that your parents--or other family members and friends--will EVER change in their lifetimes, even in the face of terminal illness and dying. In the statistically unlikely event that they do change, it's because they want to do the work of changing for themselves, not because any of us has (or should rightfully possess) the power to change others. In the meantime, the only thing any of us can control is our own reaction to our unhappy parents' behavior, including the ongoing decision about whether to spend any further time with them on their terms, our own terms, or somewhere in the middle. Good luck, be firm and kind and clear, and be mindful of the fact that it is your life to live and manage--not theirs. If they're miserable, that is a very sad and hard thing to see in one's parents, but it is their problem, not yours.
86 of 87 people found the following review helpful.
Good but for people who are more concerned with repairing relationship
By Nav
This was a good book but it's more directed to repairing or salvaging your relationship with your abusive/difficult parents, despite the title ("Cutting Loose").
For some people this may be a possibility but for others it is not because the parent is too narcissistic or abusive to deal with and the book offers surprisingly little in the way of advice on that topic.
If you are dealing with a truly narcissistic/abusive parent and you feel that you need to cut ties find a different book. If you are in the throes of re-negotiating your relationship with your parent and you want a book to give you strength in possibly making a decision to cut ties, find a different book.
If your main goal is repair the relationship or make it work than this would be a good choice for you.
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